Dare Olonoh

Diablo Cody is the former-stripper and first time screenwriter that wrote the hit movie Juno, won a ton of awards and then got hired by Stephen Spielberg… all in a very short period of time.  So naturally, people hate on her.  She addresses that hate on her myspace page in a very entertaininly scathing way.  Here are some of my favorite exerpts -

I may have won 19 awards that you don’t feel I earned, but it’s neither original nor relevant to slag on Juno. Really. And you’re not some bold, singular voice of dissent, You are exactly like everyone else in your zeitgeisty-demo-lifestyle pod. You are even like me. (I, too, loved Arrested Development! Aren’t we a pretty pair of cultural mavericks? Hey, let’s go bitch about how Black Kids are overrated!)

I’m sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my ass for money. I get why you’re bitter. I took exactly one film class in college and– with the curious exception of the Douglas Sirk unit—it bored the shit out of me. I also once got busted for loudly crinkling a bag of Jujubes during a classroom screening of Vivre Sa Vie. I don’t deserve to be here. We’ve established that. But I’m here. Five million 12-year-olds think I’m Buck Henry. Accept it.

(Incidentally, if you were me for one day you’d crumble like fucking Stilton. I am better at this than you. You’re not strong enough, Film_Fan78. Trust me.)

I’m sorry to all those violent, semi-literate fanboys who hate me for befriending their heroes. I can’t help it if your favorite writer, actor, director, or talk show host likes me. Maybe you would too, if we actually met.

I know my name is fake and that it annoys you. What, do you hate Queen Latifah and Rip Torn, too? Writers and entertainers have been using pseudonyms for years. Chances are, you’re spewing bile under an assumed screen name yourself. I’m sorry if you think I’m like some inked-up quasi-Suicide Girl derby cunt from 2002, but I like my fake name. It’s engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn’t.

Listen: I’ve been telling stories my whole life. Even when I was a phone sex operator, I was the Mark Twain of extemporaneous jerk-off fiction. I took every perspiring creep on a fucking journey. I don’t know how to do anything else.

…In summation: you try it.

…I’m in love, I just bought a house, and my boss made E.T. I kind of have to focus on reality.

Diablo Cody is the shit.  I’m not afraid or ashamed to say that I jumped on that bandwagon early, even before the movie came out.  I saw a preview for Juno and heard it was written by a former stripper, so I did some investigating online and gained a lot of respect for her personally and her style of writing.  Her life has been a journey (as you can see from her statements above) and she has chased her dreams passionately, which is to be commended!!!  But of course, people who don’t understand what it takes to get where she is will hate… oh well!

Sidebar… she’s cute, too!!!

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Diablo Cody